Notice the intimidating eyebrows and the far more intimidating (and heavy) cleavers. They say that you know you’re Chinese if your mom owns a cleaver bigger than your head. Anyway, so if the above picture isn’t indicative enough, (which it isn’t) my last four months have been spent in China. And what was I doing you ask? Well, apart from taking ridiculous pictures, I’ve spent the last four months working for Chef Martin Yan of Yan Can Cook fame, helping to establish, observe, and ultimately learn at Chef Martin Yan’s Culinary Arts Center in Shenzhen, China.

…That was a mouthful.

Unfortunately, condensing and processing all that I’ve learned, seen, smelled, and, of course, eaten, will take much longer to figure out. It’s all whizzing around in my head waiting to be made sense of. So, before I mount the pulpit and expound on Asian food philosophy, (as if I had any) I’ve decided to leave this little blurb first, to let you all know that:

Firstly: No, we are not dead.

And secondly: entries will be resuming. I hope.

That’s all folks. Keep eating

Sorry about the lack of updates; it’s been busy for me these past few weeks. Anyway, my family “asked” me to accompany them to Honolulu and I “grudgingly” accepted. Funny enough, this is somewhat true, because the Cal-Tennessee game was happening that weekend and I, under no circumstances outside of death, was not going to miss it. I ended up making it out to O’ahu right after the extremely satisfying victory. Even though the trip was short, it was well worth it. Of course, the sun and sand was great, but I was excited to clobber my tastebuds with some Hawaiian treats, which I am more than happy to share with all of you.

Yeah, that was my view. Sweet, huh? Ah, the water is so clear. Makes surfing all the more enjoyable. The Royal Hawaiian Hotel sits right on the warm sand of Waikiki, so I was privileged to have a most excellent ocean view. Totally awesome. Just had to walk about 100 feet out to reach the waves.

Well, I’ll spare you the details of the vacation that are unrelated to food, although I did make a number of very tourist stops. The luau that we went to was another story in itself; you can ask me for my thoughts if you’re intrigued. The first place that I visited was Boulevard Saimin. Our family wanted to hit Shige’s Saimin shack, but unfortunately, it was closed on Sunday, so we had to settle for Boulevard. Good stuff though, especially for a noodle lover like me. Saimin is closely related to ramen and features a combo of a rich soup base and flat egg noodles. Hailing from Hawaii’s plantations of old, saimin reflects and incorporates Chinese, Japanese, Korean, and Filipino culinary staples. I love it and I’ve been craving a good bowl for a while since the states rarely sell anything that doesn’t taste like some orientalized Campbell’s chicken flat noodles.

I had the Boulevard special with wun tun. The soup base was a bit weak for me and felt as if something small was missing, but the noodles were tasty tasty. Comes with beef teriyaki, one piece of shrimp tempura, and some mac salad. The teriyaki sauce was a bit too sweet and the shrimp tempura was a bit too battered, but the mac salad was creamy and delish. Not too bad at all. And all for a cool 6 bucks? Can’t go wrong. Shige’s is still the spot, but Boulevard holds its own.

I had to throw in a little of the local supermarkets. Haha, you would assume that any supermarket that called itself Foodland was just another random mediocre, overpriced, profiteering chain. But not Foodland. I couldn’t get any pictures of the interior (they gave me dirty looks), but they definitely one-up all of the Safeways and the ilk that litter the islands. They carry a ton of fresh produce and have substantial deli and fish offerings, particularly their little poke bar.

Damn. That ahi poke was off the hook. The picture does not do it any justice whatsoever. Whoever was genius enough to combine that raw fish, a little soy sauce, crunchy rock salt, fresh seaweed, crisp onions, and some smooth sesame oil into a little dish deserves a standing o. Ah, the texture was unparalleled. And to think that I could buy this at a neighborhood grocery store? Living here in the states, that kills me! Freaking only 6.99 a pound! Okay, enough exclamation marks. They also had tako poke, which is octopus, as well as a bunch of other tasty variations. Geez, I’m craving it already. I ate the stuff for breakfast before heading to the beach and I could eat again at any time of the day.

After the very tourist-filled excursion to Hanauma Bay, our family decided to trek around the island in our little rented Chevy Cobalt. Sweet, I can’t even remember the last time I had a chance to see the windward side, so I was excited. More beautiful beaches, less tourists, a lot less glitz and glamour, but more of what Hawaii was about. Definitely saw some mountains and jungles Lost probably uses as their backdrops. One particular food stop was the shrimp shacks that litter the dusty roads. You can smell those suckers grilling from your car and that delicious aroma reeled me with the quickness. Our family decided to just stop at a random one named Blue Wave; it wasn’t the most crowded one (i.e. ones with the hype), but we didn’t really want to wait. Fresh-caught Hawaiian blue prawns right off the coast, sautéed in butter and garlic, mmmmmmm good! Nothing particularly fancy or over the top, but I wish I hadn’t eaten that loco moco earlier that day; a stomach full of these delectable prawns would have made me very very satisfied.

My final food excursion was to the famed Matsumoto Grocery Store. Yeah, that one. The hyped-out-of-control joint, where all the celebrities and their mom have to go. Don’t be fooled, no one goes there for anything but the shave ice. The line’s way too long, especially on any given sunny afternoon. My sister made us drive all the way to North Shore to obtain this fabled holy grail of Hawaiian desserts and I although I was somewhat skeptical, yeah, it’s pretty good. Good thing we didn’t wait for the prawns because this wait was monstrous. Haha, even with an hour wait, it definitely hit the spot after a beautiful drive around the island.

I ended up getting “the rainbow” special – strawberry, pineapple, and lemon. That cute little pink cup is supposed to help you from dropping the ice and the toppings everywhere. Man, Matsumoto-san is quite smart for putting in the azuki and vanilla ice cream treasure at the bottom. That and the condensed milk make the shave ice even more delicious (and diabetes-inducing). And yeah, what they say about Hawaiian shave ice is true; the ice crystals are lighter and fluffier, which makes the experience that much better. It doesn’t last, though, so eat quick or you’ll be left with a gooey mess of red bean, ice cream, syrup, and ice. Still tastes great though.

I love Hawaii, I really do. There’s something magical in that volcanic sand. The weather plays a lot into it, obviously, but the simplicity of the island life romanticizes the experience significantly. Having said that, I would probably go crazy living on such a small island after a couple of years, but I appreciate the simple things permeate the land. The sweet smell of pineapples from the Dole Plantation, the fluffy white clouds and clear waters, the welcoming natives (who put up with invading tourists like me), and a marked contrast from the daily hustle that dominates my life at the moment. As I walked through the terminal at Honolulu International, I was genuinely dreading my return to states; not that I don’t love the Bay, but Hawaii’s just got that special sauce that I will sorely miss. It was a good weekend, Hawaii, hope to see you again very soon. Until then, I leave you with a picture of a slightly overweight 40-something man dancing with fire (yeah, from that luau).